also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In other news, I just burned my penis
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
