Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
