I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
