I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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