At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
