I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
