we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize