I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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