you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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