i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
