You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's always time for handjobs
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
