make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
