Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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