Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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