So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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