wat bout pragnant strippers??
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
