She is in my trunk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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