Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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