Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
