i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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