The maid of honor just puked.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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