are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
