Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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