So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
