I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
