Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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