she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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