trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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