hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Panties = found
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
