someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize