Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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