yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
