Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
