Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize