I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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