the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
