What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how can u be prego again
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
