i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
