Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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