we're chasing vodka with high fives
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
