She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bring me that man meat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
