Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
