I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
