you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
