There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
