I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize