I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
