I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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