Dual....:-)
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
