sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
