on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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