so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
