I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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