she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
