Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize
