Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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