This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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